Jerel Maddox, 23, of Mobile, AL looks at himself in his hotel room in Jackson, Miss. in November. When Maddox was 15-years-old, his father threatened to kill him with a gun after finding out he was gay."I wrote in my journal every day about how he made me feel and how I hated myself because I wasn't who he wanted me to be. So I hated myself and I often sometimes wanted to kill myself because I just felt less of a human. I felt that if I couldn't have both parents accept me, then what is my purpose on earth. You know being 15, you don't understand. I only knew that I was different, I didn't know that I was wrong, I just knew there was something about me, and I was attracted to boys, so I was confused. I used to write in my journal every day and I used to write in my journal how much I hated (my father) for making me feel the way I felt.